This post speaks to so much! The polio scare in the late 40's and 50's also caused parents to refrain from coddling. I read one expert who suggested one kiss a year was acceptable. And Nilofer, let's acknowledge that those returning from war and forming families longed for idealized home life. Hence the period one termed 'the bland leading the bland.' The parenting style--distant, sterile and measured--did leave many of us scarred. The wire monkey study is worth looking up if any of your readers are curious! I am among those who feel the pendulum may have swung too far, with 'good job' being handed out for every swing on a swing or picking up of a toy. Your hopeful entrepreneur got a lot of mirroring for ideas, perhaps, or even for the idea of thinking of an idea, not for actual performance and follow through. I could go on and on! Your perspective is so validating. It IS okay 'not to know', as I tell trainees in the studio all the time. Then you experiment, and you try, and then you know! So often people feel angry or sad when facing something new, this is a reaction, not a true interpretation! When we need more information it is handy to blame ourselves, but if you sit with your feelings for a sec, you will see this weird feeling of incompleteness is not YOU who are incomplete, but the data! Go get it! LOVE LOVE LOVE your posts...
Now talk about how managers are often put in positions where “faking it” is required, to keep certain information away from employees, or to uphold a corporate image (think Disney requiring “cast members” to be “performing” as great waiters) or any of the practical reasons that “naming it” is not possible. In my long career I have been blindsided several times by the revelations people successfully “faked” not knowing before the layoffs or whatever. I thought a hometown guy was one of my best friends of all time. He was totally in on discussions and decisions that led to a major life change for me. Faked it till I got the news. He couldn’t have told the truth even when I asked him directly, he said, just doing his job. I understood, and I guess I would have done the same. Talk about that kind of institutionally required faking.
I'm not sure. I read a very deep dive article on levels of security clearance and what kind of liar one must become in order to preserve the most secret secrets. Lying IS the job every day.
Should my friend have told me the truth or told the corporate lie? What if I had lost my temper or my ability to keep the knowledge confidential? (He was not wrong to imagine I would have cost him his job)
I think management lying is possibly essential. So maybe we don't agree?
This post speaks to so much! The polio scare in the late 40's and 50's also caused parents to refrain from coddling. I read one expert who suggested one kiss a year was acceptable. And Nilofer, let's acknowledge that those returning from war and forming families longed for idealized home life. Hence the period one termed 'the bland leading the bland.' The parenting style--distant, sterile and measured--did leave many of us scarred. The wire monkey study is worth looking up if any of your readers are curious! I am among those who feel the pendulum may have swung too far, with 'good job' being handed out for every swing on a swing or picking up of a toy. Your hopeful entrepreneur got a lot of mirroring for ideas, perhaps, or even for the idea of thinking of an idea, not for actual performance and follow through. I could go on and on! Your perspective is so validating. It IS okay 'not to know', as I tell trainees in the studio all the time. Then you experiment, and you try, and then you know! So often people feel angry or sad when facing something new, this is a reaction, not a true interpretation! When we need more information it is handy to blame ourselves, but if you sit with your feelings for a sec, you will see this weird feeling of incompleteness is not YOU who are incomplete, but the data! Go get it! LOVE LOVE LOVE your posts...
Yes, it's not YOU who are incomplete but some data/information/knowledge.
Now talk about how managers are often put in positions where “faking it” is required, to keep certain information away from employees, or to uphold a corporate image (think Disney requiring “cast members” to be “performing” as great waiters) or any of the practical reasons that “naming it” is not possible. In my long career I have been blindsided several times by the revelations people successfully “faked” not knowing before the layoffs or whatever. I thought a hometown guy was one of my best friends of all time. He was totally in on discussions and decisions that led to a major life change for me. Faked it till I got the news. He couldn’t have told the truth even when I asked him directly, he said, just doing his job. I understood, and I guess I would have done the same. Talk about that kind of institutionally required faking.
This. So much this. Lying as condoned by management.
As PRACTICED by management.
We can just agree that's just wrong, right?
I'm not sure. I read a very deep dive article on levels of security clearance and what kind of liar one must become in order to preserve the most secret secrets. Lying IS the job every day.
Should my friend have told me the truth or told the corporate lie? What if I had lost my temper or my ability to keep the knowledge confidential? (He was not wrong to imagine I would have cost him his job)
I think management lying is possibly essential. So maybe we don't agree?